Our Favorite Self-Talk Tip

You know that self-talk drives your actions, right? What you might not know is that your self-talk is more powerful than you might think. All of those years of telling yourself what you can’t do or what you’re not good at, have made an impact on your subconscious, and so now – because you told yourself you can’t – you avoid those things. “I’m not good at math,” “I can’t write,” “I’m a lousy housekeeper…” When you avoid something, you can’t succeed at it.
And the sad part, all that self-talk is so terribly untrue.

Think about it. Once upon a time, you had a bad experience with something. Say you didn’t understand a math concept and because you were too embarrassed to ask for an explanation, you got a bad grade on an exam. Or, you were chastised for using poor grammar, and so you agreed with your teacher that you couldn’t write. Or, you didn’t clean your room to your mother’s standards, and therefore you labeled yourself a lousy housekeeper.

Based on that initial bad experience, you went into it the next time with a bit of trepidation. You doubted… and when you doubt, you don’t perform as well. So chances were, the experience was repeated to some degree. If this happened a few times, you would have developed the belief that you aren’t good at something.

But that was then.
This is now. What does what you couldn’t do as a child have to do with what you can accomplish as an adult?? Unfortunately, a lot.

Self-talk keeps perpetuating itself. It worms itself into your psyche to the point you actually believe it, and it becomes part of your story. Whether you tell yourself you can do something or can’t do something, you are right. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way, you are correct.”

Think about a situation that makes you uncomfortable, and ask yourself what your inner child says about it. Would your inner child say “Go for it, I can do this!” or “No way, I’m not good enough!” Would your inner child insist that this new thing will be fun, or scary?

The best self-talk tip is: add “but” to every negative statement you say to yourself, and follow that “but” with a positive and empowering statement.

For example: “This is a tough financial situation but I know I’ll find a solution.” Or “I don’t see a way to fix this relationship but looking at my own choices and actions helps.” Or “I’m having trouble losing those last 20 pounds but every day I’m making better food and lifestyle choices.”
This will help put the focus on positive action. This method works wonders! Typically when someone is talking, we will remember the thing they said last. It’s the same with your self-talk. So don’t end your inner conversation with “I can’t (bla bla)…” – end it with “I can’t (bla bla) BUT I’m learning to…”
Some great “post-but” statements:

• I’m learning to…
• I’m becoming…
• I’m open to…
• I’m focused on…
• I’m redirecting my energies to…

This also eliminates the internal conflict your subconscious would come up with if you insisted you are something you are not. For example, saying an affirmation like, “I am wealthy” when you can’t make the rent, will create a massive internal battle that your subconscious mind will always win. But being sneaky and proactive by adding a positive statement after your “this is the way things are” statement will gradually cause you to change your behavior – and your results.
Most of us use “but” all backwards – following a positive statement. So flip that on its head, use it after a negative statement, and watch your self-talk become empowering!


Source: http://www.silvamethodlife.com/favorite-self-talk-tip/