Sentiments

Chapter Three

Examination Of Sentiments

[Bhàva Parìkûa]

Once contact has been established, feelings must be examined to see whether she shows initiative and whether her resolution is certain, and to assure that she has no other amorous liaison.

1 Once contact has been made, the woman’s state of mind must be studied, her feelings examined, ascertaining whether she is sure of herself and her resolution is firm, whether she has amorous relations with anyone else or lives with him as his concubine.

He examines the character of the one he desires and, having stud-fed her feelings, embarks on action.

2 He succeeds in doing so, thanks to the advice of the go-between.

He utilizes a messenger to ascertain her feelings prior to deciding. He must make use of an astute intermediary, who does not show her preferences.

3 If he cannot obtain a meeting, he realizes that although she desires him, she is of two minds. He must therefore operate gradually in order to make up her mind.

Not obtaining a rendezvous despite repeated attempts, after some days, the hero understands that although she would like to meet him, her mind is divided. He thus considers what he must do to succeed.

Since she refuses to meet the hero, he concludes that, living as she does with someone else, she finds herself in a dilemma. He must gradually find the means of getting her out of her dilemma.

In this connection, he explains:

4 Although not granting him the encounter, she nevertheless shows herself to him, carefully dressed and adorned with jewels. From this he deduces that, although she is uncertain about coming to see him, she could be taken by force.

Covered with necklaces, she shows herself to the hero. From this he concludes that, although divided in mind, the heroine is accessible and that he must take her by force.

5 If, notwithstanding a great deal of effort and time, he fails to reach his aim, he must realize that the enterprise is fruitless and that the liaison must be broken off.

After patiently making every effort over a long period of time, he realizes that the enterprise is fruitless and will never lead to sexual relations. What she is looking for is a relationship without consequences. She puts his patience to the test and then breaks off the liaison.

He must understand that the meetings have no point and that, it he is to manage to sleep with her, it will cost him endless complications.

He may however succeed, because:

6 The human mind is inconstant.

The spirit of the human race is like that. The human mind is inconstant, its ideas unstable. Often, after a break, the liaison recommences.

7 After having been attached to him, she leaves him. She does not give herself, but does not reject him. She thinks that in so doing she is testing his pride, and is unable to bring the liaison to success. At such a point, an adroit go-between may manage to assist him in possessing her.

She breaks off the liaison, but keeps contact. Out of pride, she refuses to yield. There is no question of her desiring another. Indeed, she is proud of her hero and he can, in the long run, succeed with her. Through reciprocal acquaintance, her shyness, vanity, and pride fall to pieces. A go-between who thoroughly understands matters manages to help him finally possess her.

Some women are made in such a way that, after meeting their lover several times, they refuse to see him. They will not accept copulation, but do not insult him. In this they see an expression of their dignity. It is through constant attention that the lover manages to persuade them to sleep with him. Success can often be obtained with the aid of a skillful go-between.

In this connection, it is said:

8 “It is better to drop a woman who insults you when you make advances to her.”

If she rejects you with abuse, it is better not to have anything to do with her.

It is better not to run after a girl who shows her lack of interest in the hero and, if he speaks to her, replies with abuse.

Nevertheless, on this subject:

9 There are women who, after having insulted you, will unite lovingly with you. These are the ones whom one must try to have.

There are those who insult you but have a loving nature. If one conquers them, one can unite with them when they have repented.

10 If, for some reason, he touches her and she allows him to do so without paying attention to it, it must be understood that she is divided between refusing and consenting.

For some reason, he touches her and she puts up with it, makes no absolute opposition. She pays no attention to it, as if she were unaware of his intentions. As a result, realizing that she is uncertain, he reaches his goal. If she allows him to touch her without stopping, her consent has been acquired.

Realizing that she is seized by doubt, the hero will manage to sleep with her if he takes her boldly.

11 Stretched out beside her while she dozes, he places his hand on her. She pretends to be asleep. If, on awaking, she removes his hand, it means that she wishes to unite with him.

Lying beside the sleeping girl, he seeks to find out whether she is disposed to have intimate relations. She pretends to sleep. Why? Because she wants to have sexual intercourse. Otherwise, why would she pretend to sleep? There can be no doubt as to the fact that she is only pretending to sleep with the aim of copulation.

12 At this point, he should rest his leg on the girl’s leg. As he did with his hand.

13 Having begun thus, he caresses the sleeping girl.

Having first slid his hand then his leg against hers, and seeing that she is disposed to have intercourse, he begins to make love to the sleeping girl, caressing her, embracing her, etc.

14 Then, on the following day, he sees whether she is still interested in intimate relations. He also gets news about it secretly from the go-between.

After having arisen, if she does not appear to be annoyed, it means she is disposed toward copulation. She is inclined to continue their relationship. She does not behave as though she were outraged, so that he knows she is ready to unite with him without standing on ceremony-He instructs the go-between to make sure of it.

If the girl is proud, however, and if she shuns a meeting the next day, he must arrange matters through the go-between.

15 If she does not show herself for some time, she is nevertheless still sentimentally attached to him. As soon as she gives him a sign, he sees from her behavior that he may try again.

If, after having been together and then remaining for a long time without seeing each other, she comes to him once more, without resentment, in the same spirit, finds him and gives him the sign, he seizes the opportunity and, understanding her state of mind, mounts her and unites with her, since she will not stand on her dignity.

16 When she is close to him, she is nervous. When they are alone, she exposes her body, her voice trembles when she speaks, her face, feet, and hands perspire. She caresses his head and massages it, then, throwing herself on the ground, she shows her passion for the hero.

This is how she expresses her feelings: she speaks in a trembling voice; her fingers and toes are wet with sweat, as well as her face, which shows her emotion when they are alone together.

When they are apart, she is agitated; when they are alone, she bares her limbs; when she speaks, her voice trembles, her words are unclear; sweat appears on her hands, feet, and face. She attempts to knead the hero’s head and feet. From this, it can be deduced that the heroine is enamored of the hero.

17 Overcome with passion, she caresses him with one hand; with the other arm, she arouses him by touching him and massaging him, as though by chance.

Made bold by her excitation, when they are alone, after the go-between has brought them together, she shows her intentions by her caresses. With one hand she excites him, letting the hero see — to his seeming surprise — that she has decided to provoke an erection, considering that, if she does not touch him he will not understand. With her other hand, she caresses him.

Excited by desire, she sets about massaging his feet. With one hand she kneads his foot and with the other, she underlines her intentions, even if the boy seems surprised.

18 While sleeping, she places both her arms on him and rests her forehead on several places on his thighs. Caressing the top of his thighs, she stops there without proceeding downward again. She leaves one of her hands there without moving it; seizing his member, she squeezes it, and after some time, lets it go.

She leans on the area of the boy’s sex, close to the thigh joint, for some time and then lets it go. This should not be done against his will.

19 If the boy accepts her performance, the next day she comes back to caress him again.

Taking advantage of his state of mind, she attempts to caress him again, having encountered no obstacles.

20 She does not touch him excessively, but neither does she stop doing it.

Sometimes, out of excessive boldness, she allows her deepest feelings to be seen.

21 When they are alone she shows her feelings, but does not let other people know them. She dissimulates in public, guarding her secret from others.

22 Close to him, seeking to serve him, she is ready for love, but if he is not aware of it, she may get the assistance of an understanding go-between.

Seeing that he stays there, despite her signs, suggestions, and winks, she uses a messenger to reach her goal.

23 During their conversations, she must determine the boy’s state of mind, to find out if he is interested in another.

Despite clear signs, sleeping together remains a far-off prospect. She must then reflect well about what he wants, whether he is interested in another girl, whether he is in love.

24 A quotation on the subject:

“They must first get acquainted and then speak. It is by talking together that they can appreciate their feelings and understand their mutual attitudes.”

25 If, by her attitude, she shows she agrees, the man can without any fear prepare to unite with the woman.

26 If, by her behavior or her feelings, a woman shows in advance that she is favorably disposed, it means that one can sleep with her without delay, even at the first meeting.

27 When a woman gives proof of friendly behavior and gives clear answers, he should understand that she is desirous of amorous relations and can be obtained instantly.

28 If an enterprising and subtle woman astutely seeks information about a boy, it is certain that she can be obtained, even if she breaks off relations.

A man who wishes to sleep with other men’s wives must, in order to attract them, arrange frequent encounters. A woman with a strong character will not allow her feelings to be read immediately and will not furnish any opportunity to sleep with her.

When he meets a woman of this kind, a man should carefully examine her behavior. If she gives no favorable sign, the hero must persuade her through the medium of a go-between.

On seeing the heroine’s attitude, he should understand whether his feelings are shared, and, if she will not grant him any possibility of sleeping with her, whether he should then act violently with her. A woman who is caught in the trap of having to choose cleverly puts an end to their meetings only to take them up again. She herself is undecided, “Do I really want to sleep with him or not?” With a woman in this state of mind, the boy should not give up his desire. He should not renounce sleeping with her, but just as the girl studies the boy’s nature, he too should examine hers. He should ceaselessly watch her state of mind, and gradually, the girl will end by being ready for sexual congress.

Some young girls who do not usually mix with boys fall in love stter a first meeting with a boy and show him that they are full of admiration. Understanding the state of mind of such girls, the boy should quietly stay close to them and, when they are alone together, even if she says no, he should take her by force.

Some women are very enterprising, but lack temperament. For the boy, it is useless to amuse himself with such women, caressing them and embracing them: a woman who lacks sensuality is of no interest. This can be realized by sleeping with her. If her interest is not aroused, one can nevertheless attempt to persevere and, when one gets to know her better, she sometimes ends by giving herself entirely.

Vàtsyàyana warns the boy that the feelings of human beings are changeable. Reversals of behavior are continually encountered. A woman’s nature is even more changeable than a man’s, which is why they are inconsistent in their deeds and words. It is due to this instability that after breaking off a liaison, they can become attached once again.

Philosophic writings mention the instability of man’s feelings. Indeed, the Yoga system was created to control the instability of the human mind.

Philosophy (darúana úàstra) is considered to be the basis for controlling thought and the instrument of liberation. The Bhagavad Gìtà says in clear terms that man’s mind is both unstable and obstinate: to control it is as difficult as controlling the wind.

Not all women, or even most women, but only some women desire to attach themselves to other men, or are even capable of being aroused by this desire. Even when they desire to do so, they find satisfaction in making those who lust after them appear stupid. For this reason, an understanding of a woman’s state of mind is of the utmost importance. There can be no question of treating it as if it were twenty-two quintals of wheat: one must apply one’s intelligence.

If a woman is not loose-living, and a man finds no response to his appeals, signals, and attempts, receiving, on the contrary, hard and contemptuous words, he should understand that it is useless to run after her, since this woman has no desire to go with another man. There are those who, although disposed by nature to desire to do so, are not inclined to sleep with someone, due to modesty or hesitation. This is why an astute man manages to get his hands on another man’s wire after developing mutual acquaintance, attaining a certain familiarity, and studying her mentality.

End of the Third Chapter

Examination of Sentiments

of the Fifth Part entitled Other Men’s Wives