Reflections on Intermediaries Who Assist the Lover in His Enterprises

Kama Sutra -Part One 

Chapter Five: 

Reflections on Intermediaries Who Assist the Lover in His Enterprises
[nàyakasahàya dùtakarma]

In order to arrange a marriage, an intermediary is needed for the preliminaries. Through their contacts, they ascertain that both boy and girl lead a civilized life, after which the matter can be considered. The intermediary may be a man or a woman, and is chosen either by the boy or by the girl. The business is concluded, or it is deemed preferable to abandon it, only after numerous exchanges of view.

1 Sexuality must be satisfied, in the first place, within the caste. This is true for all four castes. By marrying one’s son to a virgin, as prescribed, one acquires a good reputation and general esteem.

The sacred books recommend marrying within the social group [kûatra]. Brahman with Brahman, Úùdra with Úùdra, and assuring that the wife is a virgin, in the interest of the offspring, so that they can be considered legitimate. A twice-born must have sons belonging; to his social and cultural milieu. Even when there is no mutual attraction between man and woman, the word love is employed, although in this case it is a matter of social convention. The role of the intermediary is to assure the continuity of the family line of descendents, which is a man’s essential duty. This is why marriage within the caste and the begetting of a son are essential, after which, one is free.

2 Sexual relations are forbidden with women of lower or superior caste, or with married women of one’s own caste. This is not the case, however, of relations with prostitutes or widows, provided that it is only for pleasure.

Sexual relations are neither recommended nor forbidden with widows alone or remarried, deflowered widows, women repudiated for barrenness, if they are consenting parties, or with prostitutes or other women of that kind. Although one should avoid possessing a woman of another caste, if it occurs, one must not let it be known. It is not forbidden to possess a Úùdra girl if it is only for pleasure, but not to beget children on her. Since children born of parents of different castes are bastards [aurasa], they should be avoided. Not begetting children on widows or prostitutes is a sign of wisdom and a double advantage.

Polluted women are of two kinds: those who have relations before marriage and those who do it after marriage. The word nàraka [infernal] is used to describe the mixing of races. The mixing of races lowers the level of the best classes and gradually leads to the end of a civilization. This is why intercaste marriage is forbidden.

3 Three kinds of women are suitable for love affairs: the young girl, the widow [or second-hand woman], and the prostitute.

Girls are of two kinds, according to whether they are sought for procreation or for pleasure. The best of unions is with a young girl of one’s own caste. Relations with a young girl of a lower caste are not recommended, especially if she has already been deflowered. If she is taken when still a virgin, she tends to claim the status of wife. Her virginity should be verified in all cases.

For Vàtsyàyana, the best partner is a young girl, then a widow or woman who has already been used, and lastly, a prostitute. It appears that in Vàtsyàyana’s day, girls were free to choose, which is why they are presented as an object of desire. Marriage took place only after a period of betrothal.

“Within me has mounted the desire to marry a boy of my caste and sleep with him. He will be my husband and I shall be his wife. Our lives will be united like the two wheels of a chariot” (Rig Veda 10.10.7).

Given the freedom girls enjoyed, they sometimes let themselves be led into an adventure. Vàtsyàyana calls such girls “second-hand” (punarbhu). Roving like bees, the boys happen upon them. This is why he describes them as famished boys and easy girls. The latter are secondhand, but so are the former, and if they love each other, they may even marry.

Vàtsyàyana makes a distinction between courtesans (ganika) and prostitutes (veshya). Courtesans are women exceptional for their beauty, their manners, and their knowledge. They have a place in society. Even kings treat them with respect. Many courtesans have become famous as poets and artists. The sons of townsmen go to them to perfect their education. Buddhist texts are full of their praise, and they have an important role in the Tantras, since they are the instruments of the secret rites. The whole world acknowledges their usefulness and the necessity for them. Various kinds of beloved (nàyikà) are mentioned in the literature, as follows:

Svakiyà, she who belongs to you

Parakiyà, she who is subject to another

Sàmànyà, she who is common to several

Padminì, lotus, the full-blown woman

Chitrinì, the whimsical

Shankhinì, the fairy

Hastini, vigorous and sensual

Jñàna yauvanà, the intellectual girl

Madhyamà, a young woman (already developed)

Praudhà, the mature woman (of thirty years)

Mugdhà, silly and naive

Navalà anangà mugdhà, silly young hussy

Lajjàpriyà mugdhà, silly and modest

Aruda yauvanà mugdhà, silly adolescent

Pragalbhavachanà madhyà, middle-aged authoritarian

Pràdurbhùtamanobhàvà madhyà, knowing what she wants, middle-aged

Suratavichitrà madhyà, perverse middle-aged woman

Samastarasakovidà praudhà, mature and experienced in everything

Vichitravibhramà praudhà, mature and bizarre

Àkramità praudhà, mature and aggressive

Lubdhàpatti praudhà, mature, having known misfortune

Dhìrà, energetic

Dhìràdhìrà, superenergetic

Svadhìnapatikà, dominating

Utkanthità, melancholic

Kalàhàntarità, quarrelsome

Khandità, rebellious

Proshitapatikà, whose husband is abroad

Svayamdùtikà, acting as her own intermediary

Samasyàbandhu, linked to a close female friend

Lakûità, the subject of remarks

Kulatà, nymphomaniac

Mudità, merry

Anushayànà, anxious

Anùdhà, shy virgin

Laghumànavatì, slightly arrogant

Madhyamànavatì, moderately arrogant

Gurumànavatì, very arrogant

Anyasambhogaduákhini, sullied by other sexual relations

Garvità, vain

Rùpagarvità, proud of her appearance

Premagarvità, proud of her love

Kàmagarvità, proud of her erotic skills

Uttamà, superior

Madhyamà, average

Divyà, attractive

Divyàdivyà, superattractive

Adivyà, without charm

Kriyàvidagdhà, deft in action

Vachanavidagdhà, clever in speech

Kaniûþhà, very small.

Reflecting on those that belong to another, he says:

4 Because she belongs to another, a consenting married woman [pàkûikì] forms a fourth category according to Gonikàputra.

Because she is a mother, or for quite another reason, her attachments are elsewhere. 

5 However, if she agrees, she is then considered as an independent woman.

6 Since her virtue has already been ruined by many others, relations with her, even if she is of high caste, are similar to those with a prostitute and are not condemned by ethics. The same is valid for remarried women.

The purifying offering, after sleeping with a Bràhmaóa woman, is a woolen blanket; with a woman of the warrior caste, a bow; with a woman of the merchant caste, clothes; and with a worker-caste woman, a kid.

7 No scruples are needed with women who have already been used by someone else.

8 If the woman who loves me has a rich and powerful husband who is in touch with my enemy, she will arrange for her husband to injure him.

Her husband has the means to damage the fortune and social position of my enemy. Out of affection for me, she will influence her husband so that henceforth he will try to injure the enemy that wishes to harm me and bring about his ruin.

9 She will also repair the bridge between myself and one of my former friends, who has become hostile.

He left me for some reason and now seeks to harm me. She does her best to influence her husband to make him become intimate with my former friend and cause him to change his attitude, finding again the kindly feelings he previously had toward me.

10 Once my relations with her are well established, she will aid me in any matter of friendship or enmity, or other difficult problems.

When her attachment for me becomes true friendship, she will manage to help our friends through her husband. It is known that, for a friend, a man is ready to give his life and protect him with his body against the blows of the enemy. In other words, we shall overcome hostile people and difficult circumstances.

11 Once she has fallen in love with me, she may murder her husband and, having taken possession of his goods, we shall live together in luxury.

United by the affection born of their relations, they league together to kill her husband, attacking him treacherously with a stick. Having accomplished this, they seize his goods. Either she or I kill the rest of the family. We can then benefit from everything we have been able to seize and live on the proceeds of what we have thus realized, without anything appearing illegal.

12 There is nothing wrong in having a love affair with a woman out of interest. If I am penniless, without any means of livelihood, and, thanks to this woman, I can become rich easily, I will make love to her.

Whatever one does to assure one’s survival is never a fault, although there are other points of view about this. It is possible to envisage making love for the purpose of obtaining material goods, if I find myself without possessions, without money, without the means of livelihood, and the chances of earning my living are remote and I am unable to feed my family. By sleeping with her, I can obtain considerable advantages. I must therefore establish an amorous relationship with her. A brief adventure would be of no use. She will give me money without difficulty if the relationship lasts. Thus my family problems will be solved.

According to the lawgiver Manu, “when one has an old mother, an aged father, a virtuous wife, and a child of tender years, one should not hesitate to commit one hundred reprehensible deeds in order to feed them.”

13 However, if she knows of my problems and is violently in love with me and I show indifference to her, she will accuse me of the worst crimes and will ruin my reputation.

She passionately desires me and has my welfare at heart, but is very possessive. If, either by chance or in some other way, she finds that I neglect her, she will consider it a serious offense. Knowing my secrets, she will accuse me publicly of the worst crimes and try to ruin me. Treating me as a rake, she will have me exiled by the king.

It is therefore better to remain her lover.

14 Even if it is not true, she will accuse me of crimes of which it will be difficult for me to clear myself and will bring about my ruin.

15 Lastly, she will make her husband, who is under her thumb, angry with me, creating enmity and conflict.

16 Allying with my enemies, or else revealing to her husband that I led her astray, he will be revenged by seducing my own wife.

I am therefore forced to remain her lover,

17 We may also, with the aid of the servants and of his enemies, manage to drive her husband out of the house, at the King’s order.

18 If a girl I desire is a dependent of hers, it is by establishing relations with her that I shall obtain the girl.

19 Without sleeping with her, I shall never manage to obtain the young girl, difficult to approach, rich and beautiful, whom I would like to marry.

20 In another case, if her husband is in touch with my enemy, it is through my relations with her that I can arrange to have him poisoned. These are some of the reasons for seducing other men’s wives.

21 However, unless one has serious reasons for doing so, it is better to avoid taking the risk of seducing other men’s wives for mere amorous dalliance.

Thus end the reasons for sleeping with other men’s wives. According to Gonikàputra, four kinds of women are suitable as mistresses (nàyikà). It is not advisable to contemplate the matter from a moral or social point of view. From the moral point of view, to seduce other men’s wives is a sin. However, Gonikàputra does not envisage things from the point of view of ethics or virtue. He is only interested in strategy (nìti). The texts on strategy (Nìti Úàstra) say, “Under all circumstances, one must consider one’s own interest.” An intelligent man has to achieve his aims by whatever means. Each individual must utilize the means that best serve his interests.

Gonikàputra was not merely a specialist in sexual behavior, but also in the art of governing. Vàtsyàyana, in many places in his work, takes up the arguments of Gonikàputra, who is an unrivaled authority on matters of society and behavior. Although his theories concerning the wives of others are intelligent, logical, and well argued, they do not, however, constitute a rule of behavior. According to him, each must seek for the best possible success in society and, to do so, use every means available. The normal ambitions of a man are to obtain a wife, money, and social standing, the means for achieving which Gonikàputra sees in the seduction of other men’s wives.

There is a great gulf between theory and practice. In our behavior, we must consider two aspects, one which is individual, and the other social. Not everything described in the Kàma Sùtra is to be put into practice. Theory is general, while practice varies according to circumstance. After Gonikàputra, Vàtsyàyana takes into account the opinions of Nàràyaóa, Suvaróanàbha, Ghotakamukha, and Gonardiya.

22 Apart from the four categories of women mentioned above, Nàràyaóa mentions as a fifth category the wives of the families of ministers or sovereigns, or others of the same milieu, as well as widows occupying an important position.

23 According to Suvaróanàbha, a sixth kind of woman is the nun [pravrajita], the itinerant ascetic.

Here he refers to a widow who has become a religious, belonging to the family of the king, a minister, or an influential family, whose circle she frequents, who has been married young and has accomplished her duties as mistress of the house.

24 According to Ghotakamukha, the daughter of a prostitute or a still-virgin maidservant constitute a seventh category.

The daughter of a courtesan, even if still a virgin, untouched by man, is all the same unmarriable. A woman in the master’s service, even if married, may also be a woman of culture and know how to write.

25 For Gonardiya, a young girl of good family, just out of childhood, who can only be seduced at the price of much effort, makes an eighth category.

26 According to Vàtsyàyana, since they do not play a different role, these different kinds of mistress belong to (he previous four categories.

27 To these must be added the third nature [tåtìya prakåti], the inverts or homosexuals who have particular practices and constitute a fifth category of sexual partners.

Inverts form a third sexual category. Not being manly, they behave like women. They take pleasure in practising buccal coition. They are considered as a fifth category of partner, due to their appearance and behavior, although from the point of view of pleasure games, they differ from prostitutes.

It is because they practice buccal coition that inverts form a fifth category. Homosexuals are sometimes confused with eunuchs and impotent men. An impotent (napunsaka) man is one who, although having a sexual organ, has no virility and therefore cannot copulate. Some are so from birth, others by accident. There are two kinds of eunuch, according to whether or not they have a visible organ. They were much used in harems. Boys of the third sex behave like women. Although he mentions inverts as a third nature and recognizes the place that is due to them, Vàtsyàyana, in later chapters, does not however consider them as a fifth kind of partner.

28 Types of lover: The first type of lover, whose role is known by all, is in some way official. Another sort of lover is one whose relationship remains secret. According to the importance or the deficiencies of their aptitudes and defects, lovers are considered as being superior, average, or inferior.

An official lover is like a husband. The others generally have some reason to conceal themselves. They will be described further on.

29 Thirteen kinds of women should be avoided:

Lepers, madwomen, women thrown out of their caste, those who are incapable of keeping a secret, unchaste women, those who are too old, those whose skin is too white or too black, and those who smell bad, as well as kinswomen, those with whom one has friendship, those who have taken monastic vows, as well as the women of one’s family, the wives of one’s friends, of Bràhmaóa, and of persons belonging to the royal family.

30 According to the Bàbhravyas, when it is certain that a woman has had relations with five men, there are no longer any prohibitions.

Although married, if she sleeps with five men besides her husband, she is a profligate, or public woman. One or two lovers are not considered sufficient in this case, only more than five, according to Paràúara’s treatise on ethics. The Bàbhravyas explain that Draupadì had relations with Yudhiûþhira and her other four husbands. The story thus shows that a woman can be faithful to several husbands.

31 But, according to Gonikàputra, one should also avoid having relations with the wife of a friend, a female friend, the wife of an officiant priest [shrotriya], or a woman of the royal family.

In saying that there is no objection to frequenting a woman who has had relations with five men, reference is made to a married woman who is known to be profligate and whose vulva has been penetrated by other men. However, in the case of her being the wife of a friend, or a woman with whom a friendship already exists, if she is the wife of an officiating priest, someone belonging to the royal family, or of an aged master, even if she has already been corrupted, one should not unite with her either publicly or secretly.

32 Friends

A bosom friend [snehamitra] may be someone with whom one has played in the sand as a child, someone to whom one has done a service, whose qualities, behavior, and nature are similar to yours, a comrade of schooldays from whom nothing is hidden, someone who has shared the pleasures of adolescence.

33 One may give one’s friendship to a person who has the following qualities: whose family is attached to yours by traditional ties of affection and kinship, with whom one never has quarrels or disagreements, whose nature and behavior are not changeable, with whom there is mutual trust, “who is constant and disinterested, who does not frequent bad company, and who knows how to keep secrets.

34 According to Vàtsyàyana, besides these, townspeople may form friendly relations with all those who might serve as intermediaries or messengers, such as laundrymen, barbers, gardeners, perfumers, goldsmiths, beggars, cowherds, betelsellers, jewelers, managers [pithamarda], gigolos [vita], and jesters [vidushaka]. One should also be friendly with their wives.

Laundrymen and other suppliers who have access to the house may serve the hero’s interests, especially the perfumer who comes to sell his wares. The goldsmith also enters the harem, and no one reproaches the mendicant monk who comes begging his food. Women can penetrate houses where men are not allowed. Women must therefore be trusted.

35 The role of the intermediary [dùta] is suited to a man who is well known and esteemed by both parties, particularly by the woman who must trust him.

36 The qualities of an intermediary are: skill in making contacts, tact in conversation, lack of prejudice, the ability to seize the slightest sign. He must know how to recognize when the ‘woman is most vulnerable and, if there is any risk, he must be prompt in deciding and always find the right trick to attain his ends.

37 In this connection, a quotation: “The enterprising townsman, assisted by his friends, who is enough of a psychologist and knows how to take advantage of time and place, manages to possess the most difficult woman.”

Vàtsyàyana does not at this point appear to consider employing female intermediaries. He thinks that women are more effective in creating disputes rather than ties. It is male messengers who are most effective, under any circumstances. In his Artha Úàstra, Kautilya describes the role of the intermediary in much greater detail.

An essential quality in the go-between is his swiftness in seizing the slightest opportunity, without making any mistakes. The perfect lover is described, not as being immoral, without scruples, and scheming, but, on the contrary, as a man of good family, intelligent, sociable, artistic, and well mannered.

Here ends the Fifth Chapter

Reflections on Intermediaries

and the First Part entitled General Remarks

of the Kàma Sùtra by Vàtsyàyana