la femme mondaine

Time is a gift; if someone gives you theirs, make sure they know you’re grateful

This weekend, I had the pleasure of attending my dear friend Dara Lynn’s baby shower.  Over a luncheon of New England clam chowder, sirloin steak tips and flourless chocolate cake, I caught up with some of her friends from law school.  Sitting across from two attorneys (Amanda, an entertainment lawyer and Andrea, who works predominantly in government), the subject of networking and responding to requests from people who were looking for their career advice arose.  Like many successful professionals, the two women are happy to help those who reach out to them for their professional opinion and guidance.  However, they were somewhat incredulous over the number of people who failed to thank them for their time afterward.
Let me take a moment to remind everyone of the power of the thank-you note.

It’s unbelievable that anyone would reach out to a person who is, presumably, quite busy (being gainfully employed, in addition to being a parent, home-owner and involved in other activities), ask that person to give up their time, and then not follow up with a simple thank you.  If you’re asking someone for a favor, you should let them know you’re grateful.  Amanda told the story of a young man, a few years out of law school, with whom she’d spent more than an hour giving advice.  She noted he wasn’t writing down any of the names of people or organizations she’d suggested he contact.  Instead of a thank-you note the following day, she received an email from him asking her to send him the names of the people she had mentioned.  She actually obliged, refraining to add that next time he meets with someone for professional advice, he should bring a pen (or laptop).
I told her she should have included that information, as someone who is clearly so unaware of professional networking etiquette might be served well by having it spelled out for him.  I was appalled that someone would be so entitled and disrespectful of someone else’s time.  The problem with that behavior is that it only hurts the person practicing it.  Instead of appearing grateful, he actually gave Amanda a chore.  You can bet she is not going to follow up with him the next time she hears about a job lead.  Nobody is going to want to help you again if you can’t practice the very basic art of saying thank you.
And for those who have the basic thank-you down, and like the idea of going a bit above the standard, a handwritten thank-you card, flowers delivered to the contact’s office or a small gift that makes sense based on the conversation you had are all good ideas.  More ideas and approaches can be found in this article put out by Ragan Communications.