How to Become a Super Dad

• by Evelyn

Society’s expectations about the roles of fathers have changed, but ironically, society has not kept up. Men are still seen as the primary wage-earners. A recent study by Gayle Kaufman of Davidson College, states that three distinct types of fathers have emerged in an effort to cope with an increased desire/expectation to be more involved in their children’s lives:



Old Dads: these men have identified their role as provider. This is the primary focus of their energy and attention and they pride themselves on being able to provide a comfortable and secure living for their families. They are more traditional in their approach to parenting and many are married to stay-at-home wives. But there’s a modern twist: instead of heading out to play golf (or otherwise escape) or do chores all weekend, they make the effort to spend more time with their kids. In some cases, “Old Dads” have scaled back on their work to spend more time with the kids, but many actually increase their devotion to work because being a good provider is of paramount importance.

New Dads: these men juggle it all, just like working mothers, taking on the role of provider and caregiver. They tend to spend the majority of their weekends with the kids in some way, and make weekday evenings with the kids a priority over their own social life. Most New Dads are very stressed because it’s simply impossible to be there all the time for the kids and make money at the same time… and they may find themselves frazzled and struggling in both their personal and professional lives.

Super Dads: these men value the caregiver role over the provider role. They have made significant changes in their lives to make it happen. Either they work longer hours but less days per week, or they work from home some or all of the time. Many are entrepreneurs who bring the kids to work with them as needed. This move almost always necessitates a dual income family – and some have opted to become primary caregivers, letting their wife become the primary provider. The pressures of being a superdad can be: loss of “manliness” (traditional gender role) and low self-esteem, as well as potentially lower income (if the wife is working, she has to contend with wage inequality). However, in general, Super Dads are less stressed and happier because of the immense satisfaction that comes from parenting.

Is the term “Super Dad” fair? No. Not unless you call working mothers “Super Moms” – super dads are only doing what women have been doing for a long time. With that said, traditional gender roles are blurring and both parents are becoming more equally involved in child rearing and wage-earning – and that’s a good thing.

Aside from making time to be there more for the kids, what makes a Super Dad? Patience and humor rank at the very top of the list.

Here’s how to become a Super Dad:

1. Develop patience. Many Super Dads are turning to meditation for help with developing the patience necessary to enjoy fatherhood.

2. Become flexible. Order can quickly become controlled chaos, and you have to be okay with some measure of chaos.

3. Be playful. You don’t have to be the grownup all the time, with chores and responsibilities. Kick back and play pretend with your kids. Spend time lying on the floor on your belly creating Lego masterpieces and racing around the neighborhood on bikes.

4. Be a team with your wife. Always present a united front on any issues and resolve any and all disagreements behind closed doors. Help out with household chores, and – super important – DO NOT forget about your romantic relationship.

5. If you’re not great at household chores, become great. Or at least competent. Cleaning, cooking, fixing and organizing are part of parenting.

Involved fatherhood is incredibly rewarding, fun, challenging, exhausting, exhilarating and fulfilling. You can become a Super Dad to your kids!

Source: http://www.silvamethodlife.com/become-super-dad/