25 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee

I love coffee, maybe too much. Cups of coffee, coffee smoothies, iced coffee from McDonald’s - you name it I’ll drink it (and alot of it). I can’t drink just one cup either, I can drink it all day. Anyone else have this problem? Not sure? Well, if at least 10 of these 25 signs you’re drinking too much coffee applies to you… you might be addicted.

1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
2. You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”
3. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
4. Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
5. Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
6. Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
7. When you call radio talk shows, they ask you to turn yourself down.
8. Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyd’s of London.
9. You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
10. You think CPR stands for “Coffee Provides Resuscitation.”
11. Your life goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
12. You channel surf faster without a remote.
13. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
14. You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
15. You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
16. Your so jittery that people use your hands to shake paint cans.
17. You short out motion detectors.
18. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
19. You help your dog chase its tail.
20. You’re up to four heart attacks a day.
21. You think Columbia would be a great vacation destination!
22. You’re passing everybody on the freeway when you suddenly realize: you left your car at home!
23. You just completed another sweater and you don’t know how to knit.
24. The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
25. The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.